In short, we gain a sense of self to the degree that we have a sense of purpose, and to gain a sense of purpose we must give our lives purpose, over and over and over again.
Creativity as the Courage to Live
Here's the normative turn: it is not enough to adopt one's purpose from the dictates and dogmas of authorities and systems. It must be self-chosen.
Now, you should be asking, how can anything be self-chosen if there is no self? Mostly I think the answer is this: our language is insufficient at capturing metaphysical concepts and thus misleading. "Self" is the word that, although used to describe an object, in reality describes a cognitive sensation. And though our physical senses detect objects, our cognitive faculties do not. They sense states of mind.
Anyway, the point is this: if you want to find yourself, to know your purpose, to discover your true calling, you have to make it up as you go. Religious and philosophical ideologies can tell you how to live a life, but to live your life, you must create it. That's what makes it yours.
Creativity, then, becomes the modus operandus of those who have chosen to construct their purpose rather than adopt it. Unsure of what to make of your life? Take your best guess and begin. If none of this is making sense, take joy in the fact that you are able to take for granted your own existence.
My Work and This Blog
So that's why I can't really explain what my work is about. Because who I am is too wrapped up in what I'm doing. And I don't know who I am.
I've tried before to pin down what it is I want to say, or how I want to say it, or the feelings I want to convey, and it's pointless. Ultimately, I'm building a life, which means I'm making shit up as I go. But I think before long a theme will become apparent in my work. That's what I hope for, anyway. For if I can construct a tangible body of creative work that is unified in style or theme or feel, then can I say I found myself. Yeah, right.
Oh, in case you're wondering, my name's Ryan Trimble.